Are U kashmiri ???

I guess it will not be long before i have to stop saying that i come from a "mysterious" land of Kashmir (In fact I have already taken steps in this dir, as my "native" place has changed from Srinagar to Jammu).
The bewildering look on person's face used to be very pleasing initially, when I used to be over-enthusiastic to tell more "facts" about my place, like Jammu is a city and not a state etc. (i wonder how can people have such weak geographic knowledge about India, when they can tell exactly how many hours it will take to fly from Frankfurt to Dallas. Well, all side affects of IT industry). But then, of-late it is becoming more like a pain in ass to repeat the same set of facts and figures about my native place, repeatedly.
Today morning, when I missed my regular shuttle to my office, I took the Volvo bus to my office, which got stuck in the nasty traffic jam. A usual cribbing about Electronics City traffic was started by person seated next to me, which in due course diluted and he asked about my native place. "North India", i said. and the conversation followed as:
Q. Where in north India.
A. Srinagar, to be precise.
Q. Oh, so u are from Kashmir, Jammu and Kashmir u mean ?
A. Ya.. (with a pleasing smile on my face).
Q. How far is Srinagar from Kashmir (I felt like breaking the glass of Volvo bus and committing suicide under its wheels)
A. Wel, not very far (what else I could explain !!!)
Q. So u completed your schooling there only ?
A. Yes
Q. But I have heard that there is lot of militancy there ?
A. Yes, there are militants.
Q. Have u seen any militant ? (Ya, why not. Infact my house in Srinagar has a common toilet with adjacent house, where militants gen come for resting. And sometimes they hv to wait outside when I am attending the nature's call in the shared toilet)
A. Well, No..
Q. Were U in Kashmir when "Kargil War" Happened ?
A. NO (Even though the war was couple of 100 kms away, I could not have afforded to say YES, for that would opened up new dimension of our discussion, like "did u see tanks passing by on your roads" and what India should have done to "teach" Pakistan a lesson at that time etc. etc. !!! I have been victimized like that so many times :(
Q. How is situation In Jammu ?
A. A lot better.
Q. Is it b'coz it is away from Pakistan ?
A. Ya (again with a pleasing smile. But the fact of matter is that, if u have 6 lts of petrol in Bajaj Pulsar, U can hv b'fast in the centrally located restaurant in Jammu, go till Indo-Pakistan border and probably say 'Hi' to Paki Rangers and then be back to the same restaurant for a late lunch).
Q. I have heard and seen in TV that people there want to go with Pakistan.
I clarified saying that it s only a certain section of people of Kashmir who want to go with Pakistan, and not whole of J&K.

The gentleman continues, "Kashmir is called a paradise on earth. It used to be the favourite honeymoon destination in my dad's time. Even me and my wife had gone there once after our marriage" (and with this he gave me a "wicked" smile. I was scared if his sexual tendencies have changed since then. )

and then he started narrating his recent trip to Jammu (which was in 1998. i was wondering how can 11 long years be "recent"), when he had visited Mata VaishnoDevi, riding on a mule from the base Camp of Katra till the hill top.
and that how he long to visit Amarnath ji and how his plans got cancelled last year!!! and how pleasing and helpful the people of J&k are. and that he has heard that "kashmiri females are beautiful" ( asshole, y was he eyeing the gals which rightfully belong to my "lot" ;) how India should solve the kashmir problem etc etc.

And all this time he was unaware of the mental torture that was being unleashed on me. Probably my mental state could have been equated to someone who would have been tortured by repeatedly showing the "ridiculously hilarious" movies of Govinda with Raveena Tandon. :(